When budgeting for our little creature, I boldy declared that it would not impact the financial situation at our home. The bride quickly determined that I was wrong, upon returning from the first shopping trip, which included dog type items. Who knew that you can't buy a regular rubber ball for your pup anymore? No, no, for it must be environmentally safe, puppy teeth safe, baby safe plastic (in case, Mason chews it, I guess), and have the proper coloring so as not to confuse the puppy into thinking its food. Budget for chewy ball: $ 2.10. Real cost of chewy ball: $ 17.45. Yes, the other items also took this turn for the worse and tripled the grocery bill. Speaking of money, best to discuss with your family, their idea of treats for the pooch. As an experienced dog owner, I felt that a treat a day, of some cheap cookie, was good enough. However, the spouse's approach varied a little. You can buy gourmet treats from Istanbul, if you are willing to pay the shipping fees...and oh yes, if you buy more than a truckload, they will wave the shipping fees. Needless to say, Oreo cookies are no longer a luxury the Randle's can afford, because Brooklyn needs juicy mountain lamb treats, make by Olga in the southern hills of Turkey. (Laugh it up, I will forward you her website).
Now besides the food and money issues, it should be made very clear to you potential dog owners that some dog's grow large, despite your best wishes. Our little 7 lb. bundle of joy, gallops through the home teetering somewhere north of 50 lbs. The vet says she is almost 2/3's grown. Awesome, I say, forcing a smile. Good thing, we let her sleep on the bed, cause she was just a little girl and needed her family, so she wouldn't get scared in the dark. Sure goes well, now that she takes up one side of the bed and has gas while she sleeps. Paint should not peal off the wall, due to odor. It's just not right.
Another life lesson... Some animals have mental problems and allergies. Brooklyn scratches. And scratches. And itches. And scratches. For no other reason than it's something to do at 4:00 am, while on said bed. Change her food, the experts said. We called Olga's brother, Dieter, who lives in the foothills of the Alps. He makes perfect hypo-allergenic dog food from tree bark and beaver droppings. After a couple hundred dollars, it occurred to us that special dog food makes Brooklyn puke. Not small puke. Large pile, heavily scented puke. Back to the Dogchow we went. The vet figured that maybe its just mental. Seeing that the Dog-whisperer was busy, we are trying to work through her emotional problems that cause the scratching.
Your yard may take on a special look. Our beautiful thick green grass has special surprises hidden throughout. Recently, while mowing our lawn, our lawn care expert, who shall remain slightly anonymous, was unable to eat an apple while mowing. Why so, you ask... The stench from the tractor tires overwhelmed him. I was informed that the cost of mowing was going up, due to piles of the afformentioned puke and other dog waste piles. One was big enough, that the tractor became stuck and had to be retrieved by professionals. This is an ongoing problem, as Brooklyn is not bright enough to learn to use the weeds, for relief, like her buddy Jackson.
I would be amiss, if I did not mention what can happen when the house is empty. Future dog owners: Read and memorize, for your own good. Bad things happen when you don't pay attention. For consideration, I provide this evidence. A dog can eat eight baked potatoes in 1 minute, from the countertop. When buying fresh grapes from the store, buy eight pounds, because your dog can eat four pounds, rapidly. Silly putty, you ask? Oh yes, they will eat Silly Putty. It is no longer a child's toy, it doubles as a environmentally safe chew toy. You can get it back when it comes out the other end. Wax candles should be safe. Uh, no. Wax candles can also be retrieved upon exit, if your willing to melt the pieces back together. I am not. Onions are a great pre dinner snack for dogs. Helps with the breath. Chicken off the grill, and not even a whisker burned. Lettuce salads directly from the bowl on the table. Helps keep the teeth clean. And last, but certainly not least, when you call the insurance company to pursue a claim for living room carpet, because upon inspection, you realize your dog chewed a hole 6" in diameter right through to the subfloor, prepare for the insurance agent to laugh. Its better to blame the children, because at least insurance covers that.
We love our Brooklyn. Put her in a kennel during the day to avoid the problems? That would only lead to larger bills with the therapist. We learn by error and Brookie is a great teacher. Enjoy your pets.
On a side note, it is a good idea to have your wife lock up any weapons you may own, and not give you the key, during these special Hallmark moments.
